Jewish Wedding Heritage, Customs and Traditions, Including the Ketubah, Chupah, Breaking Glass

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By Nily Glaser

Jewish Tradition
Ever wondered about the Chuppah, Ketuba,
and other Jewish wedding customs?

Jewish tradition does not considers the wedding ceremony and the ensuing marriage as a mere social arrangement or contractual agreement, but as a full commitment to “sanctification” or “dedication.” The Hebrew word kiddushin, stems from the word kadosh meaning holy. It indicates that what is happening is a holy spiritual bonding and that as of the wedding ceremony and throughout their lives, the couple have an exclusive relationship, that involves complete dedication to each other.

Engagement
When a Jewish couple, gets engaged to be married, the families usually announce the occasion and the wedding date with an engagement party. There is an almost un-heard of ritual performed by the bride’s and groom’s mothers to emphasize the seriousness of the commitment of the man and the woman who formally announced their plan to marry.
It is, the act of breaking a ceramic plate. Customarily, the bride’s mother and the groom’s mother, drop the well wrapped plate onto a hard surface. Breaking the plate indicates that just as breaking the plate is final, so too the engagement is final, not to be terminated.

It is customary, though not frequently practiced, that at that time of the engagement party, the families sign a contract, that declares the obligations of each side concerning the wedding. In the more traditional Jewish Circles, the bride and groom stop seeing each other, one week before the wedding. This, in order to have them miss each other. Thus, enhancing the joy of seeing each other at their wedding.If the ketubah is lost, a new one must be written.

Before the wedding
It is customary that on the Shabbat morning before the wedding, the groom is honored by being called up to the reading of the Torah in the synagogue or temple. After he recites the last blessing, members of the congregation throw candies and raisins at him to wish him a sweet life with his wife.
Tradition calls for the bride and groom to fast on the day of their wedding, until after the ceremony. Though the reason given is so they purify their souls, the actual benefit is that though they may be nervous, neither will suffer a queezy stomach.

Witnesses
One of the most essential elements of the legal aspect of a Jewish wedding is the presence of witnesses. Proper witnesses are needed to observe the signing of all documents and contracts, the actual ceremony when the groom places the ring on his brides finger and recites the prescribed statement, and when the bride and groom now Mr, and Mrs. enter the celebration - reception.

Ketuba
The first thing usually done by the groom upon arrival, is the completion, signing and witnessing of the Ketubah - marriage contract.
The authentic text of the Ketubah is the text written by Simeon ben Shetach in 80 B.C.E. and is in Aramaic, the language used by Jews during that period. Thus, historically, the ketubah marked a great leap forward in the thinking about the rights of women.
You may call this contract an ancient pre-nuptial agreement since it details not only the husband’s obligations to his wife concerning food, clothing, shelter and pleasure, it also creates a lien on all his property to pay her a sum of money and support, should he divorce her.

The document is signed by the groom and witnessed by two people. It has the standing of a legally binding agreement, that in many countries is enforceable by secular law. If the ketubah is lost, a new one must be written.
Like everything else, Ketubot (plural) have evolved in their form.
In all but Orthodox Judaism The Ketuba can be presented in the traditional Arameic, Hebrew and - or English and both bride and groom can commit and sign. However, they still need two witnesses.
The Ketubah is a document of the highest importance yet, thorough out history, it was proudly and prominently framed it and displayed in the home. Hence, since at least the fourteenth century, the Ketubah has evolved into a wonderful form of art. It is often calligraphed on an illuminated and illustrated manuscript that becomes a treasured family heirloom, to pass on to the following generations.

Unveiling the bride
After the signing of the Ketubah, light snacks and some hard liquor for the Lechayim - To Life, are served. Remember the “To life - Lechayim,” scene from the Fiddler on the Roof?
In Orthodox Jewish weddings, during this time, in another room, the bride sits like a queen*, on a throne-like, especially decorated chair. She is surrounded by her family and friends, receiving her guests. Following the Lechayim, the groom together with his father and future father-in-law, musicians and male guests walks over to his bride, whom he has not seen for a week and covers her face with her veil. This ceremony is so the groom identifies his bride before the wedding. If Jacob did so, he would not have been conned to marry Leah instead of his beloved Rachel.

Click here for part 2 of the article.

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January 20 2008 01:18 am | Wedding Ceremony, Vowes & Speeches and Wedding Tradition & Etiquette

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