Wedding march music refers to the music played for the processional (entrance of the bride) and the recessional (exit of the bride and groom following the ceremony).

The processional has typically been Richard Wagner’s melody from “Lohengrin.” Known as “Here Comes the Bride,” this tune is nearly synonymous with walking down the aisle and is wildly popular throughout the western world with a few exceptions…

Jewish weddings – Wagner was a self-proclaimed anti-semite

Catholic weddings – this music is secular in nature

Lutheran weddings – pagan themes in Wagner’s operas

In addition, the opera “Lohengrin” depicted the marriage of Elsa and Lohengrin, a union that failed almost immediately. Who would want that sentiment played at their wedding? Millions of brides do, though, obviously not knowing the full origins of this music.

The wedding march music for the recessional is often Felix Mendelssohn’s Wedding March from his incidental music for Shakespeare play A Midsummer Night’s Dream. Here again, if brides knew the origins of the music, they would never consider using it. The play was first performed in Potsdam in 1842, and 16 years later in 1858, the march was performed for a royal wedding as the recessional for the marriage of princess Victoria Adelaide Mary Louise, the oldest child of Queen Victoria, when she married Frederick William IV of Prussia. These royals set the standard for brides for the next 150 years.

If you want to break with tradition, there are many other fabulous pieces that can accompany your walk up and down the wedding aisle…

Processional music…

Trumpet Voluntary by Jeremiah Clark – This is one of the most popular non-Here Come the Bride processionals. It’s even more majestic when played by a trumpet with organ.

Trumpet Voluntary by Henry Purcell, also known as The Prince of Denmark’s March

Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring by J.S. Bach – This is nice as a pre-processional for the seating of the mothers and entrance of the bridesmaids, followed by the Trumpet Voluntary.

Vivaldi “Spring” from The Four Seasons

Recessional music…

Widor’s Toccata from Symphony No.5

Mouret Rondeau – Also known as the theme from PBS TV’s Masterpiece Theater.

Ode to Joy by Beethoven

La Rejouissance from Royal Fireworks Music by G.F. Handel

This is just a short list, but stately, majestic marches and fanfares work well for both processing and recessing. Adding in a trumpet, brass quintet, or string quartet can make the music even more elegant and joyous.

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Advice on Marriage, Brides, Diamonds and Weddings. Copyright 2009. All Rights Reserved.

Husbands can create a loving environment and successful marriage by showing their wives how much they are loved and cherished.

In his ground-breaking book, “Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars,” John Gray outlined the important differences between men and women. One of his key findings is that wives love to be touched and held. Wives love to be told, in a gentle and humble way, how important they are to their husbands. One of the most touching ways that a husband can show honor and respect to his wife is to write a personal wedding song for her. No matter if a husband has been married for a month or longer than 50 years, he can renew his marriage every day with a personal wedding song.

“What me sing? No way!” most husbands may say. “I can’t carry a tune, let alone do a solo.” While it may seem challenging, a personal wedding song is simply a love poem set to music. I know from personal experience of writing, recording and singing a wedding song to my wife, that it can be done. When I started, I had no guidance, just a gut intuition. All it takes to get started is to know what steps to take and then take the first step. Here are six steps every husband can take to show his wife what a treasure she is.

Step One. Acknowledge Your Wife

Write down five attributes that you love about your wife and admire her for. What five would you choose? Is she, an excellent listener, your best friend? Does she have a friendly and warm smile or a hilarious sense of humor? Does she love to surprise you? If you can list ten or more things, all the better.

Step Two: Write Down the Special Things She Loves

What does your wife treasure? My wife Cheryl loves purple, she loves to hold hands and be hugged, she is very action oriented, she is so thoughtful, she never forgets a family member’s birthday. She loves greeting cards, music, plays, going out to dinner. She is very wise about relationships. A personal wedding song should focus on what is unique and special to your wife and your relationship.

Step Three: Put Yourself and Your Feelings into the Song

I wrote a personal wedding song for my wife after 14 years of marriage. I titled it “Song of Our Marriage.” I wrote a touching refrain that honored her with a title, her role in my life and what that has done for me. The lyrics to the refrain go like this:

“Teacher of wisdom, you’ve shown me God’s face, your strength is gentle and fine as white lace. You listen with heart strings that sing out a song, it’s your love that makes me feel strong.”

Using your list in Step 2, choose several of your wife’s best traits and write down what they mean to you. If you need help with rhyming, you can get a Rhyming Dictionary. Or you can read books of poems or search the Internet through a Google Search to get a starter idea. Make sure to personalize your words, though, so that they come from your heart. You want to be authentic; a cheap copy of someone else passed off as your own may work against you.

Step Four: Make It Simple: Two Verses and a Refrain (more if you can)

Make your personal wedding song easy to sing, but unique to your wife. For example, remember the poems that start, “Roses are red, violets are blue?” You can expand that phrase into a verse, like:

“Roses are red, violets are blue,

I can’t see myself living without you.
You are my wife, the crown of my life,
my life would be empty without you.”

Step Five: Use a Familiar Tune for the Music

Did you know that is acceptable to “borrow” a melody (as long as you don’t sell it or claim it as your own) for your personal wedding song? In fact, if your wife has a special song that she likes, you might learn how to write lyrics that go along with it. If you get serious, you could find a musician or studio to help. When I wrote “Song of Our Marriage,” I figured out the melody by humming it, plunking out the keys on a piano and then finding a studio that produced the accompaniment. Use the Internet to find someone who can help. With downloadable MP3 files, you can actually produce a song on your PC.

Step Six: Sing the Song to Your Wife and Frame the Lyrics

Now comes the most important part – the delivery. Don’t write a personal wedding song and then stick it in your golf bag. Perform it for your wife. Record it. Frame the lyrics and hang the song in your bedroom or kitchen. For “Song of Our Marriage,” I created even a photo album with pictures of my wife in Lilac Park, in Disney World, with her friends, and more in several sections. Each section of the album reflected the verse and refrain from the personal wedding song.

There you have it, six steps to writing a personal wedding song for your wife. It takes work. If I can do it, you can do it too. Go ahead, take a risk. Your wife will be deeply moved by your touching gift and care for her.

About the Author

Dave Pipitone is a business owner, author, parent, husband and professional communications manager, writer and editor. Visit http://www.songofourmarriage.com

Advice on Marriage, Brides, Diamonds and Weddings. Copyright 2009. All Rights Reserved.